


The Big Secret

by Icarus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Drabble, Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-25
Updated: 2005-11-25
Packaged: 2018-10-25 17:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10769412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icarus/pseuds/Icarus
Summary: Sushi received an email with the heading "incest!" Naturally this got her hopes up that someone had sent her some Percy/Bill. Alas, they were quickly dashed: it was only a virus. So a group of us gathered and wrote her some Percy/Bill, to help her get over the crushing disappointment. ;)





	The Big Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

The coast was clear. It was so rare that Bill was actually home. They'd volunteered to do the washing up after lunch, knowing everyone would clear out into the beautiful day. Sure enough, the two of them were quickly abandoned to a sea of dishes. They tossed their dishtowels aside, and Percy leaned up for kiss.

"Hullo!" A voice said cheerily.

They spun apart. _Damn!_

"At it again are you?" George added.

"Don't let us stop you," Fred snapped up an apple and took a bite, "just wanted a snack."

"As you were," said George. They left, chatting about how many colours they could turn Ron's hair before he noticed.

Bill and Percy looked at each other, confused. Finally the corner of Bill's mouth quirked and Percy couldn't help but grin. Bill stroked his cheek and Percy began nibbling his fingertips, a flush rising. 

Bill was nibbling Percy's earlobe, his hand working under a far-too-tight belt when --

"-- Oi! This had better wash out, you two!" 

The door to the kitchen pounded open, and Ron thundered in. His hair was bright blue. 

Then it slowly shifted green. Then yellow. 

Ron snatched up the dish detergent and tried to go between them, but Bill's hand was still caught under Percy's belt. Ron manuevered around and stuck his head under the spigot.

"Damn them, I'm gonna to kill them both," he muttered, "one of these days" as multicoloured water streamed out of his hair. Ron grabbed one of the dishtowels and scrubbed at his head.

Suddently he glanced from Bill to Percy. Then back again. "Oh. Sorry. Did I interrupt something? I suppose you don't need the extra towel then?" And Ron left, whistling.

Nonplussed, Percy blinked at Bill, glanced at Bill's hand still tucked in his trousers. 

"Wow. That was really a close call, wasn't it?" he whispered. 

And Bill smiled slyly. His eyebrows flicked up. "Yes."

Percy chuckled as Bill drew him close, rubbing their hips together. His fingers (since the rest of his hand was trapped) drew small circles on Percy soft skin, and he nibbled Percy's upper lip. Percy moaned.

"WHOA!" The back door blasted upon in a flash of magic and a white blur zipped through the kitchen into the living room, followed by a darker blur on a broom. Bill froze.

"Harry Potter!" Percy snapped, "You may be a guest but you're not allowed to fly brooms in the house!" 

Harry spun the broom around and hovered, his head dipped in a sheepish expression. He shrugged. "Sorry. It just got away from me." Then he glanced at Bill and then back to Percy. "You aren't done yet?"

Percy stood up stiffly, chin raised. "We've only the one dish towel."

Harry gave him a funny look. "What do dishtowels have to do with it?" and flew out the door, t-shirt flapping.

Bill finally relaxed with a sigh and shook his head as if to clear it. He turned back to Percy, pulled him close. 

"Now. Where were we...?" His voice was low and soft. The door from livingroom squeaked open, and Bill swore, "God _damn_ it!"

Charlie stood in the doorway, dumbfounded. They didn't even bother to separate, it was obviously too late. Percy hung his head, while Bill glared at Charlie, daring him to say something. 

Finally Charlie spoke, exasperated,

"Beelzebub's arse. You're still here?" he picked up the dishrag and made for the sink. "Look, if you want to shag, have someone else do the dishes."


End file.
